"For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them"(1 Sam 3:13)

God gives a tremendous privilege and responsibility to fathers. We are entrusted with the provision, guidance, and spiritual development of our families (Eph 5:23, 6:4). It is tragic that some of the great men of the Bible failed to put sufficient time and effort into this facet of their lives and are shown to be bad fathers. Even if we are great men like these, we err greatly if we neglect to be the fathers we should be.

First we notice Eli, priest and judge of Israel. While Eli was a good man, dutiful to minister to the Lord's things, his sons "were corrupt; they did not know the Lord"(1 Sam 2:12). They were priests like their father, yet used their office for evil things: "Therefore the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for the men abhorred the offering of the Lord"(1 Sam 2:17). Eli was not responsible for their sin, since they were grown men, but God criticizes Eli for allowing them to continue to serve as priests despite their great wickedness. Eli's weak, ineffectual rebukes notwithstanding, God tells him "you honor your sons more than Me"(v. 29) and promises to cut off Eli and his house because "he did not restrain them"(1 Sam 3:13). For all his goodness, Eli is ultimately punished because he did not swiftly resolve the issue of his sons' sin. This reminds us that even when our children are grown, there are still steps we can take to attempt to push them in the right direction-and God expects us to take them. Perhaps harsh words need to be said, or wrong actions rebuked, or difficult questions asked. God expects fathers to lead their children-even when grown-to right living.

Eli raised Samuel from a young boy, and he became a great priest and judge as well. Samuel's great deeds and leadership in Israel are legendary, and he is presented as a hero of the Old Testament. However, it seems that Samuel fell into the same trap Eli had-weak leadership over his sons. God tells us that "his sons did not walk in his ways; they turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes, and perverted justice"(1 Sam 8:3), yet Samuel allowed them to continue to be leaders of God's people! Ultimately, the elders of Israel approach Samuel and say, "Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations"(1 Sam 8:5). Certainly the people of Israel simply wanted a king anyway (v. 7), but the wickedness of Samuel's sons sadly became the excuse for their evil desire. Did Samuel forget the fate of Eli and his sons just a few short years before? Was he hopeful that his sons would clean up their act before something like this happened? Samuel reminds us that as fathers, we must learn from the mistakes we see in others-especially spiritual mistakes. To repeat the follies of others-be it adultery, inconsistency, or lack of discipline-is to make a grave mistake. Samuel was a great man, but his memory is marred by his record as a father.

Samuel anointed the second king of Israel, David the shepherd boy. David was a great, prosperous king who led God's people to tremendous success. He maintained a deep relationship with God, earning the divine moniker "a man after My own heart"(Acts 13:22). Yet David's failings as a father are clearly demonstrated in the Scripture. David had many children by many wives-including Solomon by Bathsheba-and through his adultery brought the sword to his house (2 Sam 12:10). Amnon, one of David's sons, raped his sister Tamar and was murdered by his brother Absalom (2 Sam 13). Absalom staged a coup to take the throne from David, though he was eventually killed. When Adonijah, another son, tried to take over, the Scripture says of David: "And his father had not rebuked him at any time by say, 'Why have you done so?'"(1 Kings 1:6). David's family was a mess, and God places the blame at his feet for his lack of restraint. As fathers, God holds us responsible for the moral state of our families. We may be busy-as King David was-and the choices certainly belong to our children, but God still expects us to attempt to restrain them. If our children choose to live wickedly, they should have to do it over our loud protests. David is a great man, but he left much to be desired as a father.

It seems likely that these men allowed their very important, demanding jobs to get in the way of their parenting. Christian fathers must avoid this trap and remember the tremendous responsibilities they have at home. Dads must be willing to stand up and lead in the home without making excuses for wicked behavior. Certainly "the son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son"(Ezek 18:20), yet God expects fathers to restrain their children from wickedness as much as is possible.

How will you be remembered? Let's pledge not just to be good men, but to be good fathers as well.___Jacob Hudgins