"So when I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked out some of the hair of my head and beard, and sat down astonished"(Ezra 9:3)

There is scarcely a more important word in the gospel message than the word "repent." It was the first word Jesus said as He began to preach (Matt 4:17), the first word Peter had to answer to those who asked "What shall we do?" (Acts 2:38), and was the culmination of Paul's incredible discourse on the unknown God (Acts 17:30). At the heart of Jesus' message is an insistence that we truly and fundamentally change, and that we willingly agree to follow Him forever. But what happens when, in the course of that following, we slip up or drift away from our Lord and find ourselves in sin? Even then, the Lord wants repentance-true change-and demands that we take some steps to demonstrate our willingness to follow Him again. Let us consider the example of Ezra the priest when he discovered the sin of the people of Israel to see what true repentance entails.

After the people began to return from Babylonian and Persian captivity, the leaders of Israel approached Ezra with some bad news: "The people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands…For they have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, so that the holy seed is mixed with the peoples of those lands"(Ezra 9:1-2). Despite repeated warnings about this (Ex 34:16, Dt 7:3, Josh 23:12), Israel had intermarried with the nations around them. What is surprising is that although this had been going on in Israel for centuries, these Israelites were so serious about the law that they began to recognize they had sinned. We see that the first step in true repentance is acknowledging our sin. It is impossible to correct what we will not acknowledge. This must be part of the reason the New Testament puts such an emphasis on confession, even to the point of saying "If we say that we have no sin ,we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us"(1 John 1:8). If we want to be right with God, we must not be too proud to acknowledge that we have sinned and prepare ourselves to do whatever is necessary to be right with Him again.

When we realize what we have done, we must feel the full weight of its stench before God. There must be a deep sorrow for sin, like what Ezra and the people felt upon acknowledging the sin that had occurred. "So when I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked out some of the hair of my head and beard, and sat down astonished"(Ezra 9:3). Anyone who has had hair pulled or a beard plucked knows the intense pain it brings, and Ezra brings it upon himself as a reflection of the true spiritual pain of sin. As he prays, he says "O my God, I am too ashamed and humiliated to lift up my face to You, my God; for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has grown up to the heavens"(Ezra 9:6). When we feel sorrow for sin, it means we are past arguing whether we have sinned and are deeply regretful. Sin is never casual or expected. It is always an abomination and affront to God. Perhaps if we were sorrier for our sin, we would not be so likely to quickly return to it. We must be more like David with his "broken and contrite heart"(Ps 51:17), more like Peter with his bitter weeping (Mt 26:75), and more like the tax collector, crying "Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner!"(Luke 18:13).

But here is the key: we must then put away our sin! Many feel some sorrow for what they have done and believe their regret is repentance. This is not so! Paul made this exact distinction when he said "Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance…For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted"(2 Cor 7:9-10). He then applauds the Corinthians' repentance for the emotions and actions it produced. Something must be said loudly: Until we have put away sin, we have not truly repented! Here is where Ezra is truly instructive. He tells the people to "Separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the pagan wives"(Ezra 10:11), and they do so! This is true repentance: people so sorry for their sin that they are willing to end one of the closest relationships they have in life. It was more important for them to be right with God and put away their sin than to have the pleasures marriage brings. What refreshing commitment! What a lofty standard set for us! The reason repentance is difficult is precisely because it can mean giving up things very important to us-yet God demands that we put away our sin.

What do we take from all of this? When we sin, we need to remember to acknowledge it. Keeping sin in the dark allows it to grow. If we find ourselves continuing to commit the same sins and struggle with the same problems, we need to feel more sorrow for sin. Remember what my sin does to God. We must be so serious about following Jesus that we will put away anything-even family relationships (Mt 10:37)-to get to heaven. Let us never forget: God "now commands all men everywhere to repent"(Acts 17:30).___Jacob Hudgins